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#WWE59383 – Rey Mysterio – 619

Lee Maughan: A bunch of Mysterio’s pals and peers pay lip service to him, with Dean Malenko dubbing him “the Fred Astaire of flying”, although it’s hard to accept the opinions of non-worker Torrie Wilson on his skills as carrying the same kind of weight as those made by the likes of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. Still maintaining something of a veil of kayfabe, things immediately jump to A-Train injuring Mysterio’s knee on SmackDown!, and Mysterio’s subsequent trip to see noted orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews in Birmingham, Alabama. “How many times are we going to see you around here?” asks the good doctor. “I hope this is the last one” comes the reply, which hindsight confirms was far from the case. The whole thing is basically just another excuse for WWE to show a bunch of gruesome invasive surgery on camera as Mysterio attempts to get the whole stupid angle over.

 

To Rey’s childhood next, as his mother tells a pointless story about him sticking a bobby pin in a wall socket and getting electrocuted, while his father admits on camera that they’d always planned to have a baby born in the United States because it would entitle them to benefits the Mexican government wouldn’t provide. Rey credits his uncle, Rey Misterio, with getting him into the business at the age of twelve, and talks about how he cried when he saw him lose his mask in a match. His mother was tough but fair, only allowing him to train if he kept his grades up in school. Heading to the gym where his uncle trained him, Rey recounts a tale of doing suicide dives through the bottom and middles ropes when he was just four years old.

 

Contradicting the earlier age claims, talk moves on to Rey begging his uncle to let him start appearing on shows when he was fifteen, and then there’s a big leap beyond his early years in Mexico, Japan and ECW as he meets Konnan and suddenly joins WCW, admitting that everyone backstage there thought he was a kid when they saw him without his mask, but gave him a standing ovation after his debut match at the 1996 Great American Bash against Malenko. That leads to a whole series of matches with Malenko, before he moved on to Eddie Guerrero, with Guerrero calling their title vs. mask match at Halloween Havoc ‘97 one of the best he’s ever had.

 

Talk turns to how much the kids love his mask, and then the timeline suddenly jumps ahead to Vince McMahon buying WCW in March 2001, ironically (and intentionally) skipping over the period in which Rey didn’t actually wear a mask. He didn’t know if he was going to get picked up by the WWF, but he finally got the call from John Laurinaitis in 2002 and debuted on SmackDown! against Chavo Guerrero that July. Bizarrely, an episode of Cribs breaks out next as Rey goes on a tour of his house. It should probably be noted that his green tea leaves look suspiciously like a cannabis plant, and that his house is absolutely massive. The tour offers little of value unless you like watching the unreasonably wealthy gloat over their material possessions, but it does lead into a funny story about how he five fingered one of the original WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team titles (won by he and Billy Kidman on the final episode of Nitro) because the company shut down so nobody noticed it was gone.

 

Back to WWE and some tiresomely in-character comments from Angle that add absolutely nothing of value, but they do lead to Rey telling another funny story about panicking when hiding under the ring at SummerSlam 2002, hearing his entrance music play but not being able to find his mask in the dark. On a more serious note, he admits that he got overcome by nerves and lost his wind during the match, but it still ended up being pretty good. Putting the loss to Angle behind him, he formed a tag team with Edge that became part of the vaunted “SmackDown! Six” with Angle, Benoit and Los Guerreros, but this is all recapped with highlights rather than anything informative. Instead of any insight into those matches, the next few minutes are devoted to watching Rey get “619” tattooed on his arm, which is about as interesting to sit through as it sounds. While in the seat, he claims to love pain, which might explain all those knee operations he has had over the years.

 

Speaking of knee operations, it’s back to the A-Train feud, which is paid off when Rey and Brock Lesnar beat A-Train and The Big Show in a tag match on SmackDown!. More clips of Rey wrestling Angle follow, then he beats Jamie Noble and Tajiri in a triple threat match to earn the right to do a job for Matt Hardy in the perfectly acceptable opener of WrestleMania XIX. To close, another round of talking heads all put Rey over, and that’s it.

 

 

 

[continued on next page]

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