Survivor Series ’97
James Dixon: This show is memorable for something, but I can’t for the life of me think what… Maybe it will come to me during the show.
The Headbangers & The New Blackjacks vs. The Godwinns & The New Age Outlaws
I am generally very tolerant of Survivor Series elimination matches, but this one does not look promising on paper. Goddamn, Barry Windham looks a complete mess, but he can still go to a degree and tosses PIG around for my pleasure. Phineas gets more joy with Bradshaw, but the Outlaws refuse the tag so Hank has to come in instead. I have just noticed that the Blackjacks have the letters “BJ” on their tights, which has gotta be a rib. Out of no-where Bradshaw throws an abdominal stretch on Henry and pins him with it to eliminate him. The crowd politely applauds. Windham comes back in with Phineas and again manages to get something watchable out of him, but this has just been a straight up tag between the Blackjacks and the Godwinns so far, which is horrible structure for the opener. Windham gets dumped out by Phineas bringing the Headbangers in for the first time as Lawler blames “too many Marilyn Manson videos” for Mosh’s appearance and demeanour. Billy Gunn comes in as the Montreal crowd viciously chant “FAGGOT!” at him. Playing it to the hilt, Gunn takes off his shirt and encourages it further, like a good worker. Mosh goes for a bulldog on him but Billy puts the brakes on and face plants him, which is enough for the pin. Thrasher comes in and works a lazy wristlock on Phineas for an unacceptable amount of time, as they do some attempts at chain wrestling that are as ugly as sin. Unbelievably, they then go to a fucking LOCK-UP and hold it like Lesnar and Goldberg for an age, as Montreal quickly turns on things. They try and get them back with some fast sequences, but the crowd is gone and goes back to questioning Billy Gunn’s sexuality. Thrasher eliminates Phineas with his Whoopie Cushion variant off the top, and then Bradshaw comes in and rips Road Dog apart, before getting caught with a pinfall that never was a pinfall, just like last year only less obvious, and this time intended. Insider joke? Probably. This leaves Thrasher on his own and he gets picked apart quickly by the Outlaws (though I should probably point out that they are not officially called that yet and don’t even have music either). Gunn hits a legdrop off the top onto Thrasher’s head that misses by a clear two foot, but that is still enough to put him away and win the match. This was all over the place as far as psychology and structure; it was just a generic tag match with extra bodies and executed horribly. The exchanges between Thrasher and Phineas in particular were bush-league stuff.
Final Rating: ¼*